The Truth About My Insanity
(Part II: Dark Touch)
By Davis Lindsey
One universe. One vast, brilliant universe. In which stands in its own dimension, expanding, based on multiple theory. Here, the universe is composed of millions of billions of filaments. These filaments act as roots for our universe, expanding countless light years into the empty void. And here the filaments are made of super-galaxy clusters, which are then built of smaller, regular clusters. And which then in themselves contain galaxies. If you were to take a galaxy cluster from a random filament, and zoomed into the super-galaxy clusters, then zoomed into the regular ones, then zoomed into one unique galaxy. Unlike the rest in the entire universe, this galaxy is special, and hey, so is the one next to it. So is the one next to that one, and so forth. Why is this galaxy so special? why, even though it still has the basic structure as the rest, even though to the naked eye looking at it a million billion miles away looks identical to some around it, even though it’s just one galaxy scattered among quadrillions of others, so unimportant, so average. This galaxy is so plain, just like the others in so many ways. So how is it so important? how is this galaxy so beautiful, so amazing? how is it different? There are so many things. So many things about the many different galaxies that tell them apart, so many things that make them unique. Let it be the way the stars are positioned, let it be the amount of solar systems or planets. Say we went into a filament and zoomed in so far onto one star. Now say we zoomed into a completly different filament and found another star. Just looking at each could see that they are identical in every way. They look the same, they weigh the same, they burn the same temperature, they absorb the same material. But everything that a star takes in, every particle, every atom is different from the rest. No two atoms are the same, no two molecules or elements, no two hammers are the same or no two child swimming pools are the same. Everything is different. When we look, zoomed out, at a galaxy, we see the same as the one next to it, (in most cases.) But that is only because we dont look at the details, we dont look at the placement of stars, or the amount of planets, or the complex animals and people and cultures developed there. We don’t look at the unique spacing inbetween solar systems or the intensity of a white dwarf in system “A” to the supergiant in system “B.” We only see what is there, the basics, if you will. Out minds see stars and planets, supermassive black holes and solar systems, only the basic structure which makes up something, and our minds register it the same. We are like these galaxys because we are all different. We as humans are so unique and we always forget this. We always forget the important part we play in the story of humanity. But the galaxys werent just a clever example to show the importance of you and me and everyone on the planet. No, now we look at a galaxys. We look at one, unique spiral galaxy among many. Sitting there and evolving, expanding, growing and learning. We look into the second quadrant of this, near a star in mid life. This star is called Yuen and the planets that surround it count seven. We look into the binary planets, Tahn and Ahmey, about the size of Jupiter each, and measuring as one of the smallest in the system. Here we look at Tahn, a brilliant planet, covered in green, blue and white. At night the planet is dark. Dark as the heart of Elijah Yearth as he sits in his cell. This planet is very undeveloped and sad. And here a shooting star jets toward the planet at speeds that astound the racers of Earth! Here, a shooting star falls for the surface of the planet. But it’s not, is it? No, no… It’s a wonderful ship, aye! A ship sent from the second largest planet, Geonosian. Here the ship goes at intense speeds! Poor luck to whoever wields the wheel I s’ppose! * * * “Thomas! What’s going on!” Elijah shouted. His heart was racing with more speed than that of a gun, and he was sweating intensely. from every nerve in his body a war arose. Never, in the hundreds of years of Elijah’s life, had he ever been more focused, more intent on one thing. He was piloting the ship that was gifted to him on Titanus. The way things went in the asteroid belt that passed in-between Geonosian and the Binary planets, They had barely made it out alive. And when I say barely, I use it in description of their ship, which is barely working, barely functioning, and barely there. The control room was a red light that was constantly flashing, like the alarms in Elijah’s head. Everything was going at once, complete helter skelter. He wasn’t sure why his sword was summoned, instinct, most likely. Though, it only made matters worse, only having one hand to control things. “The wing, Eli! The bloody wing just…no pun intended…” Thomas actually uttered a small laugh at this.”…flew off.” “Thomas! do you think this is anytime for horseplay? we need to fix it! How close are we to Tahn?” Elijah asked. Thomas looked down at a rectangular electronic object in his hands. After swiping a few times, his eyes lit up when it looked as though he saw what he was looking for. “We are a few thousand miles! Look! over yonder!” Thomas shouted over the sirens. He sprinted to a blue lever that was positioned by Elijah’s right arm. He switched it down and pushed the red button next to it. Suddenly there was a screeching noise and the metal flaps which protected the front windows folded back, revealing a black void covered in little specks of light, as if someone had taken giant scissors and cut holes in space. In the middle of the void a sphere stood. It was a brilliant green color with small splotches of blue that looked like oceans. Small swirly clouds were noticeable as well. And on top of all of that, mayhaps the crowning jewel of the planet, the navy blue ring which covered it. “Is it close enough? can we make it?” Elijah shouted. Thomas was about to respond when a large figure tumbled in the room. He looked slightly hungover to Elijah. His beard as unkempt as his hair. And his shirt, half tucked in, half hanging out in the front. He was missing a shoe on his left foot, and oddly enough, a sock on his right. “Nice of you to join us, Patrick.” Elijah shouted at him. “Have a nice nap? I bet ye did yah idiot! I s’ppose now you’ll want to go eat some breakfast, and then oh! some reading done? How say you Patrick? Want to get some bloody reading done?” Patrick threw the book he was holding at Elijah. It hit him square in the face. Elijah became instantly furious. “Would ye get off my back? How was I s’ppose to know we would be bloody crashing in the morning? I can’t see all, yah know!” Partick called. “Quiet to all! Hold yer tounges!” Thomas shouted. “We can’t get anything done if ye keep arguing as ye’ve been! Why, we only have six minutes and twenty four seconds!” Six minutes and twenty four seconds. Seems so small, such little time, am I wrong? Why, of course Im wrong. For Elijah, ten seconds is all it takes for him to get everyone safe. The question was how. Time stopped Just plain stopped. There Patrick stood, red faced, with his glare at Elijah. Thomas had both his hands in the air and was staring at Patrick. The red light on the wall shown a solid red and did not move. At that moment to Elijah, nothing moved, nothing breathed or lived. Elijah was in an extreme form of limbo. Thoughts. Raw thoughts rushed to his head, the basics if you will, as in ‘die’ and ‘live.’ Those two stood there, and from those, more possibilities stranded off. To die? easy. One option: do nothing. Sit there at the helm and stare at your buddies while the glass most likely broke and the sweet kiss of space seeped in. But…something’s not right. Something is definitely off to Elijah. He can sense it with his sixth sense. And boom! as fast as a rocket jaguar if you will, the answer splits into his brain like a bullet. What if there was nothing wrong? Sure, the sirens were wailing. Sure the wing had fallen off, but this wasn’t Earth, Geonosian, or Titanus. No, no all of those planets had an atmosphere. Space is zero, am I right? Zero gravity. Nothing to let smoke flow through. Just a void. Where does the smoke go? Does it just fly off into space and is it noticeable? Of course not. The vacuum of space is too much to allow that, to allow sounds or smoke. But you see, that is where it is wrong. That is where this whole situation went dumpy. This is where Elijah knew he was in no danger whatsoever. There was smoke. Jet black, pure smoke. Elevating from the wing so softly and smoothly, not being touched by anything, no corner of space touched the smoke which arose from the wing. So how was it there? Mayhaps it wasn’t. Either that or the other possibility which was that they weren’t in space at all. Or anymore. Suddenly it clicked like a lego piece in Elijah’s head. He knew exactly and precisely what was going on, and how to end it, saving all, which, hey. It’s what he does. * * * I sit here. Thoughts of all rush into my head and coursed through my veins. Who was I at that time? I was noble, I was mysterious and calm, well, in most situations at least. Who was I? How did I end up in jail on Tahn? How did I become the way I am? What is this bloody planet doing to me.. I have been sitting here for three days. Three days ha-ha! No food or drink. Now where could that bloody sheriff be! “WHERE ARE YE, SHERIFF!” I call. No answer. And what do I expect? The man to call back “coming!”from an empty office? If I have gone mad, this was a horrible time. At this response which did not show itself, I become furious. I stumbled to my feet and began banging and kicking the bars of the cell. I was yelling at the top of my voice the exact same thing over and over. “WHO AM I? WHERE ARE YE, SHERIFF?” This was me now. Who knows if I will ever revert back from this drive of insanity. I was banging the wall so hard and with so much force. “WHERE ARE YE.” I called. “WHERE ARE YE.” My hands began to hurt with such intensity. I was bleeding all over myself but yet, I could not stop. Something was forcing me to do this, something was putting diesel in my unleaded fuel tank. In other words, I was blowing up from the inside. And it was me. It was me who was doing this. Somehow, to me, it felt normal, like this was the way my body is suppose to function. Do you know how when you think you don’t like a food because it looks gross so you don’t try it, and after you try it you love it and you can never stop eating it? Well thats kinda how this was. You always think insanity will be so bad, that it will feel bad and you are fully aware you are going insane and you cannot do anything about it. But it feels normal. Insanity feels like something that your body secretly was always meant to do. Like your brain is going into shutdown and it’s last resort is to send you into insanity to keep you from death. But we all know how that turns out in the end. Everyone who goes insane is never pitied, always death. Always. It’s just a taunt! it’s just a sample, trying to give us a small amount of what we can’t have! one more laugh for the brain I s’ppose!
*** *** ***
“Ughh…” Elijah muttered. His entire body hurt all over and he felt sick to his stomach. The back of his throat tasted raw and full of iron. His vision was blurred at the moment. All he could make out were blurs of items everywhere, but there wasn’t much to see. The first item he saw was obvious and stared him right in the face. Yuen stood, shining brighter than usual. It was there, suspended in the sky like an ink splotch on blue felt. Elijah then saw the image of a few cacti. After a few minutes of trying to guess the image of a rock correctly, his vision came to it’s senses. He was in a desert. It was extremely hot. Maybe eleven P.M.? Maybe twelve? Or could it even be thirteen. He didn’t know and honestly didn’t care. He needed to find Patrick and Thomas. “THOMAS!” Elijah called. “PATRICK!” He walked.