Fascticanian Sniper

Author’s Note: All quotes spoken by Chip are taken from the actual movie and the actual autobiography.

Fascticanian Sniper
By Demyan Patrîk

Bald Eagle and American Flag

Before I begin this piece, I’d like to provide a little history about Fasctican. It’s a large country made up of different people, languages, and customs. Bordering the United States, Western Europe, and Israel, Fasctican has engaged in a number of righteous military crusades since the end of the eighteenth century, eventually making itself a leading humanitarian power in the world.

Despite the state’s valiant record in foreign affairs, a small, noisy fraction of the country has always opposed Fasctican’s actions, both domestic and international. And following the release of Fascticanian Sniper, a film based on an autobiography by the same name that tells the story of Chip Liberty Bell Flying Freedom Eagle, a thirty-year-old Fascticanian sniper (and patriot) who’s sent to some nation in the Middle West after the Fascticanian government declares war on evil, a handful of Fascticanian citizens (most likely North Korean sympathizers) have taken to the streets to protest a film they call “Fascticanian propaganda.”

So for the rest of this article, because my patriotism and dutiful allegiance to Fasctican requires me to, myself and other freedom-lovers are going to disprove the myth that this film is propaganda.

First off, what is propaganda? The United States Holocaust Memorial Museum defines it as “biased information designed to shape public opinion and behavior,” so does Fascticanian Sniper give “biased information designed to shape public opinion and behavior”?

The film starts off with Chip lying on a roof as Fascticanian soldiers and tanks roll through an evil neighborhood, clearing out evil house after evil house. Chips stares through his sniper lens, spotting a middle-aged bad guy making a call on his cellphone and two terrorists—a woman and a boy—walking towards the Fascticanian troops, a grenade in the boy’s hands. Before either of the pair can throw the grenade, Chip kills them both, and the marine guarding Chip’s back happily remarks, “S*** yeah. Evil b****!”

The camera focuses back on Chip, and it’s clear he feels conflicted about what he just did. Once he makes it back to the barracks, he talks about the maliciousness of the two dead terrorists with another Fascticanian soldier: “It was evil, man. That was hate like I’ve never seen before.” The other soldier comforts Chip, reminds him he just saved the lives of a million troops, and asks how he felt about his other kills. The patriot responds: “The other ones? The other ones were righteous. Like God was up there blowing on my bullets.”

Of course, the commies criticized the film’s portrayal of the terrorists in the opening scenes.
Massif Bichai, an author for a left wing, arguably Stalinist blog wrote:

The opening scenes of the film are particularly disturbing. They show a young boy and a young     woman carrying a grenade towards Fascticanian soldiers. I asked myself, “Who are these people?     Why are they doing what they’re doing?” Unlike the Fascticanians in the film, these characters     (along with the other locals in the film) aren’t given a background story; we’re not given any     information about their histories or motives. We’re simply forced to conclude that they’re evil.     (“S*** yeah. Evil b****!”) The only thing—as the film wants us to realize—that motivates them     to attack Fascticanian forces is the “wickedness” and “savagery” coursing through their veins.     This is a biased, pro-Fascticanian narrative; it’s propaganda. And the fact that this scene jumps     directly from a point of view shot of Chip staring down the scope of his rifle as he aims at the     heart of young local woman to a shot of Chip as a child staring down his rifle as he aims at the     heart of deer blatantly reveals how the film wants you to perceive the locals: as animals.

Bichai continues and writes:

Fascticanian Sniper attempted to legitimize an atrocious, imperialistic war; dehumanized the     local population, consolidating millions of unique individuals into a single group of irrational and     malicious “savages”; glorified the psychopathic and racist tendencies of a mass-murderer;     avoided giving an accurate background that told why Fasctican invaded this foreign nation; and it     completely white-washed the actions of the Fascticanian military in an immoral war against a     dictator it had put in place just decades prior.

In response to Bichai’s comments, patriots have taken to Twitter to show why he’s wrong:

“@MassifBichai if u h8 Fasctican u can leave! We killed them so u cood write that Marxist filth!”     tweeted @Fascticanluver69.

@patriotprincest commented: “it doesnt matter if the film nvr mentioned WMDs or the name of     dict8r the war was supposed 2 b against or that it over exaggerated an enemy sniper.”

“so what if Chip called them savages??!?! If you kill you are savage #Leave #NOW!!     @MassifBichai,” tweeted @gunzgunzbangbang.

@bornagainChrist420 typed: “@MassifBichai only Nazis can make propaganda! Read a book,     but no you probably whack to Mao.”

Besides the portrayal of the two terrorists in the opening scenes, critics of the film lambasted the depiction of other locals. Writer and marijuana smoker, Max Checkers, stated in an interview with a national news network:

There were only four non-Fascticanian children in the film. Two of them were portrayed as     “terrorists.” One of them had a father who was a “terrorist,” and a “terrorist” killed the other one.     And the “terrorist” who killed the boy was named “The Exterminator,” and “The Exterminator’s”     hideout, as we later find out, was full of severed heads and the hanging, naked body of a local he     murdered. These portrayals perfectly supported the film’s narrative that every single local was     evil and needed Fascticanian troops to come in and save them.

Checkers also commented:

There were only three local women in the film. One of them was a terrorist, the other was     married to a “terrorist,” and the third had a son who was murdered—his head was drilled in     half—by “The Exterminator” after “The Exterminator” discovered the boy’s father had promised     to give away the location of “The Exterminator’s” leader to the Fascticanian military. How is this     not propaganda? How is this not a biased perspective supporting Fasctican’s actions? Why is     every single local character depicted as a terrorist or associated with one? This was not reality!     This was not reality at all!

In response to Checker’s comments, Ronald Smith wrote in an article for freedomfighter.patriot.com:

The war in the Middle West was one for freedom. Our enemies, they hate our freedom, and     those guys in the West showed us just how much they despise the ideas of liberty and equality     after they committed an atrocious terrorist attack on Fascticanian soil. Sure their country wasn’t     at all associated with that terrorist attack, and sure they weren’t actually hiding any WMDs, and     sure we supported the coup that put their dictator into power in the first place, and sure our     corporations profited greatly in this war and the same one that occurred a decade earlier, and sure     Fasctican has a history of invading nations that threaten our economic interests, and sure it seems     preposterous and racist to think a certain group of people could literally hate freedom, and sure     we killed one million of them, left four and a half million displaced, orphaned five million     children, widowed two million women, and left the country with significantly higher rates of     cancer and birth defects than the Japanese after we nuked Hiroshima and Nagasaki, but none of     that matters! Absolutely none of that matters! All that matters is that Fascticanian Sniper     revealed the truth: every single woman and child in the Middle West cried for our help but hated     us at the exact same time.

Asked to respond to Smith’s statement, Checkers just stared at the copy of the article I handed him and blinked. He asked me if Smith was joking, but I told that commie: “No!” and walked away triumphantly, stopping beneath the doorframe of his apartment to shoot him some finger pistols, whistle the first two verses of the national anthem, then flip him the bird as I shouted: “Suck my Fasctican butt,” which flew melodiously across his home, like a virgin bald eagle with the Fasctican flag taped to her talons flying through a summer breeze.

Another issue critics took with the film was its “complete fabrication of the history before and during the war of Fascticanian imperialism,” wrote author and alleged agnostic, Michelle Freedman:

As Chip trains to be a sniper, he witnesses al-Kayduh’s [a terrorist organization] bombing of a     Fascticanian embassy as well as al-Kayduh’s hijacking of four Fascticanian planes and the     destruction of the two towers, and once Chip is deployed, he’s immediately told his duty is to     hunt down one of the leaders of al-Kayduh who’s recruiting locals to become fighters for his     terrorist organization. Not once did the film mention the “real” reasons we went to war: the     weapons of mass destruction and the dictator who was supposedly arming terrorist organizations     with them! No, Fascticanian Sniper wants us to believe we invaded that country to fight al-    Kayduh, and the only way the Fascticanian public could be saved from evil was when Chip     Liberty Bell Flying Freedom Eagle killed a sniper named Mufasa who was supposedly terrorizing     helpless Fascticanian soldiers, even though the real Chip Eagle only once mentioned the enemy     sniper in his autobiography! And don’t even get me started on Chip’s incessant “savage” crap!     This film is horrific, fascistic Fascticanian propaganda!

Lindsey Simmons, an activist who allegedly marched in a gay rights parade once, appeared to despise Chip as well:

Here we have a guy who in the film is made out to be this struggling, yet righteous freedom     fighter. After he kills the woman and boy in the opening scenes, it seems like he’s a bit unsure     and conflicted about what he’s doing. But the portrayal of Chip was completely out of touch with     reality. He was a killer, a bigot, and a fascist. In his autobiography, after he murders a local     woman he writes about how his shots saved Fascticanians “whose lives were clearly worth more     than that woman’s twisted soul.” What did Chip think he was fighting? “Savage, despicable evil.     That’s what we were fighting.” Does Chip wish he had killed more “terrorists”? He writes, “I     only wish I had killed more.” So clearly the film doesn’t honestly portray Chip’s own savagery,     but it makes a point of showing the brutality and “evil” of the locals.

In response to both Freedman and Simmons’ comments and incited by the film itself, a mob of angry Fascticanians decided to stage a protest in front of both of the writers’ houses. Beginning on Sunday morning and lasting all the way till Tuesday afternoon, the crowd chanted: “The DPRK is that way!” and “It’s open season on savages!” as Lee Graywood’s “I’m Proud to be a Fasctican” played in the background. (It had to be turned off after a couple minutes once some of the protestors fell to the ground in fits of patriotic passion as Fasctican-flag colored foam seeped from their mouths.)

So is Fascticanian Sniper propaganda? The Eco-Trotskyist Femi-Nazi terrorist-loving writers cited in this article made some interesting points about the shallow and dehumanizing portrayal of the Mid Westerners, the association of each local character with terrorism of some kind, the inaccurate retelling of history leading up to and during the war to deceitfully justify actions taken by the Fascticanian military, the white-washing of Chip Eagle’s racist and fascistic disposition, and the fact that some Fascticanians were incited by the film to make threatening remarks towards a certain group of people. But I wouldn’t say this film is propaganda. No, I would say its simply Fascticanian.

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One response to “Fascticanian Sniper

  1. Pingback: January/February 2015 Full Issue | The Bolt·

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